Fe(Male) Relationships

Something to notice: the word relationships IS in the title - you can start worrying.

Let me begin with bromantic relationships. Validated by society, movies like Wedding Crashers ("Maybe it is creepy that a...promised his best friend he would never spend another birthday by himself. Yeah, that might fall under the category of creep") and the obvious I love you, Man ("Bromontana, Jobin, Tycho Bro-he"), we have been free to involve ourselves in these relationships full of brove. Some people drink vrodka now.

Interestingly enough, even the most relationship averse guys will enjoy their bro-s.

Historically this was the relationship cultivated when the ladies would play cards in the drawing room (women were and for the most part been more advanced in the field of human relationships. This is where the idea of best friends started). The men would go elsewhere, the library perhaps, and have neat scotch and smoke fine cigars. They would all laugh, discuss the business of being men then awkwardly shake hands good bye.

No more! Now we hug, pat on the back and ruffle the hair. Prolong contact for as long as possible, no drinks or cigars for an excuse (now they're just there, they've ceased being the excuse) and we'll talk. Share our fears and desires. We can share secrets (Guys, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ok? Ok??? Dear god my wife CAN'T find out) and keep them.

And yet somehow my gender, and increasingly more the female gender as well fears the word relationship. They are all relationships.

Especially in college, people will hook-up, go on dates which they'll call casual outings with friends, hang out an inordinate amount of time but still maintain they are not in a relationship. All the while, one or two of the parties involved will develop feelings but maintain that they do not exist. They will never have THE conversation though the situation will merit it. They will maintain that all is well in their "thing".

This is the ways things are they say. I don't want the attachment. I don't want to be committed. She'd be such a drag as a girlfriend dude. We don't need to have the conversation dude. She said she was ok with things like this.

Let me clarify a couple of things
a) Human beings are dense only if they are allowed to be dense. The same way we can only get away with the things others let us get away with.
b) Deep down all human beings crave a deeper emotional connection with someone (save serial killers and even they have families)
c) Being afraid of relationships is ok but you also need to face your fears, especially the irrational ones (like the boogie man).

Wear your heart on your sleeve. It hurts like hell but it's always worth the ride.