The exception to the rule

All of my life I've had girlfriends. The friends who are girls variety. The other kind I wont elaborate on, not for now now at least. As such, I am a womanizer in a different sense than your average womanizer is.

I don't expect myself to grow up to be a 50 year old who knows how to sweet talk 20somethings whispering sweet nothings.

Some say I'm an expert in the younger woman, maybe that's because I've been dating them for over 40 years. Actually, it's merely because I like to think I've been emotionally intimate with many of them over the last decade of my life. An overstatement for sure, but one that carries a certain level of validity so bear with me.

Women like to believe that they are the exception to the rule. No matter how cynical they may seem or act or be they harbor this underlying hope/desire of finding the sweet handsomely rugged/clean cut man who i everything they want him to be. We (men) can and do easily prey on this sentiment.

A friend of mine once called me a player with feelings.

A word of caution. I am a big fan of making broad sweeping statements*. They have in my experience proven to be fairly accurate in dealing with women of the northern hemisphere. My research is entirely empirical and completely biased. This is me having facts and deriving theories and not the other way around. Though my methods might not be as Socratic (or nonexistent) like the Nobel committee, there is a validity to my thoughts (mostly provided my own self-importance).

The truth is that too often Ill have girls come to me and ask me to tell them the "truth" and though Hollywood and the NYT Best selling writing sluts both warn them against the GUY mentality they refuse to believe in it. The proportion of men out there who enjoy sipping on wine, eating french cheeses, talking about their feelings and or going shopping is higher than you think. EVERY GUY can be/is that. But you don't get that on the first date or two or three.

You also shouldn't have sex with us on the first date. If you're worried about coming across as a prude then you're probably not with the right guy. NO matter how adorable or cute or gentlemanly he is.

We love the chase. And the chase should be carefully prolonged carefully, without sending mixed signals or being a frigid bitch. It's a science not an art form merely because we are simple minded beings us humans. My type especially so.

It's not what you wear, it's who you are. Every guy (read most) will be immediately attracted to the tight little black dress that walks into a party with peroxide hair, catwalk make up and mile long legs perfectly paired with black suede booties. Every guy will draw a mental picture in his mind, label her as impossibly out of his league and never look at her again or they will see her as a challenge worth pursuing for the night. No one ever giving a thought to her personality.

My theory is simple. Every human interaction is driven by attraction. When the interaction happens between a guy and a girl, 9/.10 times a guy will only start talking to a girl if he finds her attractive in some way or another.

News flash: WE CANT SEE PERSONALITIES. you might have a great personality but it's up to you to show that once you're past the whole "I look so hot and he looks so cute" stage. It'd be simpler if we also had a picto-graphic representation of everything other than our body on our person. A sort of flow chart of ourselves.

I am in love with personalities but I only find those until I get past the physical stuff. And I'm particularly good at that. Most of my kinsmEn are not.

This is already far too long. So I'll stop with this: we are most often the rule. The average situation is the rule in this life. We can't all be second quartile. But keep hope close to your heart.