Or they type of specialty shot at a bar that sets you back $12 for no good reason
Or a little bit of ish and a little bit of this but you can't bs a bser.
At first I considered calling this "shopping with AKs(47)" but that seemed to simple. Too easy to call my countrymen something that I am distinctly not as I stroll around in boat shoes, pastel colored shorts and a graphic tee that's desperately trying to toe the line between preppy and alternative.
I should wear a button down shirt that is one size too small uncomfortably tucked into skinny jeans in such a way that leaves little to the imagination. A look that screams club and home at the same time. And a singular gold chain with Yeezus hanging on for dear life in a bramble of machismo and attitude.
But there I was, shopping with everyone, amidst a small army of
Lovely lady.
Shopping for people unknown. Or I should say people that are my family that I barely know. Some of whom I actually don't know - nieces and nephews - some of whom I kind of know now - you know siblings. And a whole lot of uncertainty as the traditional song and dance I have come to expect in Christmas has been transformed into uncertainty.
Workers are keeping my parents and myself off of the roads between Guadalajara and my grandparents' home in Uruapan. There's something wildly unappealing about being stopped in the middle of nowhere, being politely asked to exit the car, nudged gently with the barrel of a gun in the right direction to start walking as your car gets parked perpendicular to traffic and set afire. It's just, sub-optimal.
The kind of workers that typically hear their retirement package in the 'click' before the smoke.
In a way it has brought my family together. Were it not for it I would be sitting snugly in between my favorite aunt and my best cousin friend wondering if there's any more hot fruit punch left and whether or not someone will whip out a guitar for us to start singing tonight. There would be a combination of crying as we remembered relatives past - mi abuelita Chole - and joy as we saw the youngest of the great-grandkids running around completely impervious to the chilly 40 degree night. All of them excited at the prospect of 'bang' 'bang' 'bang' - the broom's stick striking at the 7-coned pinata.
So in a way I have a reason to be mindful of the booming and entrepreneurial spirit of my country.
The same spirit that brought about the little bull - el torito - the breathalyzer now rampant throughout my city that imposed a harsh $1,300 fine - and the focal point of discussion for many ladies and msseurs of society who are indignant at the idea of not being able to drink of life.
We have our priorities right - family.
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