Loaded Questions

Do you think it's ok that young man just committed an ethically/morally/legally wrong thing son?

A question that came up throughout my childhood more times than I care to admit. What was I supposed to say? I think it's cool/awesome/very legit... Of course I would respond with the softball answer of choice - I think it's wrong. It was only when I turned 12 that I realized these were the loaded questions. And I began to ask them. And respond to them in shockingly annoying ways.

To my parents the response was simple. There is an answer you want so lets pretend I just did. I don't mean that to say that I was rude or discourteous to my parents. I was always respectful of the people who had imbibed in me the values that allowed me to identify the right from wrong. I was a pigeon toed child raised in a new country with a new ideology- respectful but independent - it was the year of the boar.

How'd you do on that test? How was your weekend? Has you ever been cheated on?

When did questions start acting like auto-rhetorical devices. People, most people, aren't looking for answers. They're looking for attention. A moment to discuss your own personal drama.

I've read getting to yes. I've read Terry Fadem. And the art of woo and prying for deeper answers. And I hate loaded questions almost as much as unloaded guns or an ill-shaped conversation.